


crowley vs rainfurrest

by orphan_account



Category: Furry (Fandom), Good Omens (TV), Rainfurrest
Genre: Vore mention, Why Did I Write This?, crowley is not qualified to perform castrations, crowley is pissed, crowley only came so he could be undisguised, gloryhole more like goryhole, heavily implied death, rainfurrest - Freeform, sex mention, zira will never know the whole story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-31 18:04:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19431268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: crowley goes to rainfurrest for a rare chance to walk around in his true form (large snek with wings). things go about as well as you'd think.





	crowley vs rainfurrest

He stared up at the hotel, eyes unobstructed by goggles for the first time in centuries. He slowly and carefully extracted himself from the Bentley, which was not made for nine-foot-tall snakes. As he strolled towards the Hilton, it took all his willpower to not unfold his wings and soar into the air, or to twitch his tail just because he could. He had to keep up the illusion that his true form was just a costume. He entered the hotel slowly, trying to blend with the crowd of fursuited people making their way to the front desk. He wasn't even here because he was a furry. He was here because he saw a chance to be himself, even if just for a few days. He managed to get through sign-up just fine. He recieved his lanyard and everything. What could go wrong?? It turned out that literally everything could go wrong.

The talent show was nice and normal. Except for the human- and he was fairly sure that it was in fact a human under that cat costume- who demonstrated their ability to swallow live mice. That was odd for human standards. Odder was that while most members of the audience were disgusted, and while some were morbidly fascinated like himself, some seemed to think it was... well, he'd seen a couple sneak off muttering excitedly and blushing, and it didn't take much imagination to know what they were doing. The horrible thing is that he didn't know which part turned them on, the mice or the eating of the mice. But both options were equally awful.

After the talent show, he heard rumors of a hot tub and went to investigate. As a serpent, heat was a must. As he settled into the pool, he noticed someone picking up a towel and wadding it up like they were crushing a piece of paper. He paid it no mind and sunk further into the water, closing his nictitating membrane and fully submerging himself. He briefly wondered if they'd think it was odd that he was in the hot tub _in_ "costume" but quickly disregarded it. As he stuck his head up to breather briefly, he saw a black and white striped blur coming at him at what looked to him like mach speeds. And then a towel hit him in the eye. He screeched in pain and whipped his head around, covering the hurt eye. His uninjured eye fixed on a human who was still chucking towels into the tub. He swam towards them, half using his limbs and half propelling himself with his tail. He rose up out of the water, still clutching his eye, and looked down at the human. "What do you think you're doing?" The person looked up at him. What was that odd clunking he could hear? "Oh, I'm just waiting until it happens." Whatever "it" was, it couldn't be good. "What's it-" The clunking got louder, accompanied by a hissing and strong heat. He looked over to the... the pump for a hot tub. It appeared to have towels stuck into literally everywhere. He didn't wait to confirm his theory. He ran for it. The sound of an explosion followed him.

Crowley roamed the halls restlessly, eye still smarting despite the eyepatch that he was using to keep the icepack in place. He kept hearing this annoying crinkling, sometimes accompanied by squelching, and it was driving him utterly mad. He had no clue what it was... until a wolf colored like a sunrise rounded the corner of the hallway. Instantly his nostrils were assaulted with a horrible rancid smell. He nearly choked to death then and there. His wings got fluffed up the way they always did when he was agitated. He managed to say "What in the name of Heaven _is_ that??" The wolf looked up at him. "You don't know what crinkling is??" He looked at the wolf again and noticed something puffy and white wrapped around their haunches. Oh God, surely that wasn't a diaper. And if it was, surely it wasn't- That possibility was very, very real, and it terrified him. "That's not-" The wolf nodded, and he swore a smirk appeared on it's expressionless face. He could literally taste the bile coming up his throat. He couldn't even say anything. All he could do was run.

Somehow he ended up in a bathroom stall, curled up on top of the toilet tank and pretending that none of this had happened. His luck got worse when he heard several people enter the room, open a stall and then... He hadn't a clue until there was the sound of something being unscrewed, the sound of a toilet flushing and then... Brownish-yellow water began seeping under the door, carrying what looked horribly like a soggy diaper. He barely had enough time to open the lid of the toilet frantically before puking.

He was still on top of the toilet 30 minutes later. He did _not_ want to leave, partially because he didn't want to touch the overflow that covered the floor of his stall and probably the rest of the bathroom. And partially because he was sure that there was far worse in the halls. What more could happen in here? He soon found out. He heard the door open once more, the sound of feet or mascot paws slogging through the water, and then a drill started up in the stall next to him. He just turned around and whimpered. He had no idea what they were doing in that stall but he didn't care. Five minutes later, the drill had stopped and the occupant of the other stall had started moaning grotesquely. He could hear an odd meaty thwapping. He turned around again, not entirely sure if he wanted to know what was going on. What he saw was... he'd never had the misfortune to see a gloryhole before. He really wished that luck had kept up. Especially when it nearly hit him in the eye. He'd had enough. He was going to make that person pull their damn pants up and leave. He hadn't meant to do it that forcefully. Just enough for it to hurt. There was the sound of someone leaving the restroom, screeching, as he stared numbly at the severed dick on the floor. He slowly opened the stall door and left, trying to ignore the copious amount of blood that was mixed with the septic overflow.

He made his way to his room in somewhat of a daze and fumbled with the lock. He opened the door and immediately his sinuses were assaulted once more, this time with the smell of alcohol and weed. Lots of weed. And what he thought might be sex. He grabbed a beer and stared at ghe scene unfolding before him. The writhing mass of limbs appeared to be an orgy. He could make out heads, which appeared to be smoking. He turned around and left.

He found his way back to the pool and submerged himself in the cold water, ignoring the charred and smoking remains of the hot tub. He was just going to stay here for the next few days. He was getting relaxed and then a foot met his snout. A small cloud of blood blossomed up from one nostril as he rose to the surface. He was about to yell at someone before noticing... well, he frankly didn't know that horny drunk teens could get that creative with pool floaties. He was about to sink back underwater, to try and remove that image from his head. Then he noticed a naked person squatting over the pool, clad in nothing but a fursuit. Surely they wouldn't... a second later he was screeching and clambering out of the pool.

Crowley sat on the carpet, watching one of the staff members get arrested. It was rather awkward. A paw tapped his shoulder and he turned to see a watermelon-colored wolf smiling (or he presumed they were smiling under the costume head). "Hey, uh, could you follow me?" He was puzzled but did so. He was lead to the women's bathroom, which thankfully had no gloryholes but was flooded. The wolf looked nervous. "So, uh, first thing I want to ask is how you got your fursuit to be so, y'know, realistic." He mentally cursed himself. "Well, I practiced. A lot. Can I go now-" "And, erm, second question, can I draw your fursona voring me??" He tilted his head in curiosity, staring blankly down at the wolf. "What do you mean 'voring' you? What does that even??" He was interrupted by the wolf pulling their phone out, typing something, and then shoving the screen in his face. He looked at the search results with growing horror, his pupils contracting to thin slits. If snakes could blush, it would be happening. His wings fluffed up again. His tail began lashing in a panicked frenzy. "Uh, dude, are you okay-" The innocent furry was abruptly cut off when said tail wrapped itself around his neck and brought him to eye level with Crowley, beginning to tighten. "After what you've shown me, you'd better count the fact that I'm not killing you as a miracle." A minute later, he stalked out of the bathroom, leaving the unconscious wolf on the floor with a sparking, smashed phone next to him.

He hunted the parking lot frantically for the Bentley. He was leaving, now. He passed a few ambulances and several police cars, and what looked like a drugs bust. He didn't give a damn. When he finally found the Bentley he wished that he hadn't found it. Every single window had been smashed in. There were diapers (both full and not) literally everywhere. The gas tank was open and smelled concerningly of sugar, Kool-Aid and piss. Every Queen CD had been replaced with... Oh god no, _Justin Beiber_...

Several weeks later, the door of the bookshop slammed open and Crowley entered with a huff. Zira looked up from reshelfing, taking in the fact that Crowley's jacket appeared to be sticky and wet. There was a strong scent of blood coming off him. "Uh... How was your little trip, Crowley?" That earned him a withering glare that not even the goggles could protect him from. "We. Will. Not. Talk. About. It."

**Author's Note:**

> i have too much power someone stop me. the product of a chat on discord about crowley and furries, and several people accidentally found out what Rainfurrest was.


End file.
